Do you think I am traumatized? my mom ped away?

my mom ped away a few mth ago.She had a heart attack.I was holding her up when she had it (she was unconcious) Im alot of the time numb,but sometimes it really hits me & its awful.We were very close & she was very young(btw im 20 yrs old) I do have flashbacks of that night when I do im like its crazy! its so unreal! I feel like im in a soap opera.Can you relate? have you lost a parent? I would really appreciate your help.